Jen's Life of a Depressed Mormon Woman
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Happy Father's Day!

6/15/2014

1 Comment

 
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Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there, especially my dad. He has been there for me in so many ways no matter what the circumstances. I am grateful for all the things he has taught me. I love being able to spend time with him. I am most grateful that he holds and honors the priesthood. Through it he has been able to bless me in many trials and illnesses, anxieties and more.
This is not the post I had originally begun. I started one last night that I was going to finish & post today. However, when I sat down I felt like I should post about fathers.
My dad was born in Price, Utah and has spent most of his life in Emery County. He first lived in Hiawatha, Carbon County, Utah and then later moved to Orangeville where he was raised on a farm. After high school he served an LDS mission to British Columbia, Canada and went to Snow College in Ephraim, Utah. He met my mother at college. Soon after living in Orangeville for a while they moved to the West Valley area of Salt Lake and that is where I was born.
My siblings and I were all born in Granger, Utah and when I was six we moved to Orangeville. We lived in several different places in Dad's home town and also spent about six months in Castle Dale while I was growing up. Since then he has lived in Elmo & Huntington, Utah. He also lived in Spring Creek, Nevada and Bountiful, Utah before coming back to Emery County & Castle Dale.
The reason we had moved to Orangeville in the first place, was so that my dad could work in the coal mines. Throughout the years he worked hard as a miner but several lay-offs found him working low paying jobs in the local grocery stores. I know my parents struggled to make ends meet every month and I also know how much he hated working those jobs. I know that he did it to care for his family the best he could.
Eventually he went back to mining but when the mine closed he went back to school. He has always enjoyed working with computers and so he decided to go into e-commerce and web design. However, when he finished school he couldn't get a job because he hadn't taken the right classes. For a while he went back to working retail and other odd jobs until the offer came to move to Northeastern Nevada to work in a gold mine. He worked in two different mines in the time he & Mom lived there. Eventually he started driving truck with my brother and we moved to Bountiful (I had moved in with them after my first overdose). They started out driving over the road, cross-country. They eventually started driving a dedicated run to Denver, Colorado. They drove out and back five days a week. After a minor accident, Dad lost that job and started again to look for something to support us. This time he couldn't find anything and so, after several months of looking, he decided to take early retirement. This has actually been a good things in many ways even though the budget is tight every month.
Through all the trials of not working or working low wage jobs, Dad did his best to do whatever he could for us, his family. He supported us by attending our school functions, ball games, pageants, dance recitals,choir concerts, etc. When I played softball he attended as many games as he could where he would cheer me on and offer moral support and give me pointers.
One of my favorite things while growing up was listening to him sing and play his guitar. He would sit out on the porch and us kids would gather around to listen and request our favorites such as; "Puff the Magic Dragon", To Morrow", and "The Old Lady who swallowed a Fly", just to name a few. I still love to hear him. He will come into the office and start to play and I will be in my bedroom singing along.
Another thing I enjoyed doing with my dad, and still do, is going for rides on the desert or mountains and especially going camping. I love nature and the peace I feel among Heavenly Father's creations. I love being able to just sit around the fire and talk or sing. Dad usually brings his guitar. I enjoy when he goes on walks or hikes with me.
One of the biggest reasons I love my dad is because he helped teach me about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He doesn't always share his testimony out loud but I know he has one just by the things he does. He is a great example to me and I hope he is proud of the things he has done to help and support me especially through my battle with depression and anxiety. He is always willing to give me a priesthood blessing when I ask. I am happy to have the priesthood in my home.
I love my father very much. I know I don't tell him that very often, but I don't know what I would do without him. He is a wonderful example and I am grateful for his love.

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The other Father I want to write about is my Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for the testimony I have that He sent us here to earth and is anxiously awaiting the day when we will return to Him. I hope that when I do He will embrace me and say, " well done!"
I am so grateful for the plan that He presented and in which I agreed to that made it possible for me to come to the earth to gain a body and to learn of Him and what He would have me do.
As I write a few scriptures in The Book of Mormon comes to mind. The first is in Mosiah 4:9: "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things,both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." The other scripture is in Alma 26:11-12. " ...I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
"Yea I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things;... for which we will praise his name forever."
The last scripture I want to share is Ether 12:26. It is one of my favorites. "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
I do believe that He created the heavens and the earth and all things upon the earth. Through His plan I know that I am His literal daughter and that He loves me and wants what is best for me, even more than my earthly father. My strength is weak and I know I need to humble myself before Him and He will answer my prayers.
I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for sending His Son to Atone for me that I may be able to repent and someday return to live with them. I am especially grateful for this knowledge as I think of two other fathers in my life, my grandfathers. I know that they live, spiritually, awaiting the time when we can be together again. They were great men and great examples to me. I love and miss them very much.
 

To close I just want to thank all the Father figures in my life. There are many who have helped me along the way. I want my dad to know how much I love and appreciate him and all that he has done and still does for me. Mostly I want to thank my Heavenly Father for giving me my life and for all the blessings I have received.
Happy Father's Day!
1 Comment

    Jennifer Gardner

    I am an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I struggle with anxiety and depression on a daily basis. I have also recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I created this blog to share some of the things that I deal with and the ways I handle them and cope.

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